|
|
|
Forum Guru
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/14/2008 1:46:54 AM
Posts: 60,
Visits: 315
|
|
Hey everyone.
I don't know who's on the roster at the moment, but I thought I'd just say what's up.
Just a primer - I stopped playing at the start of this year, when my cpu broke while I was at home for Christmas. I also stopped playing because of interference with my personal life.
So what's going on with me now?
Well, let me start off by saying while it may not be the most "pleasant" story, it's still good for what it's worth, and my story might be able to help you or someone you know. After all, there are people who have died from playing this game - and my story is quite different.
Last year I was a raid-a-holic, and I was playing all day and night without knowing why. In January last year, I was removed from the school, but luckily, there was someone in the system who believed my problems were greater than my potential, and that my situation had a solution. She told me that if I took the proper steps to checking out my mental health, and got a doctor's note, not only could I come back to school, but they'd get rid two quarters full of F's and put me back to where I was "meant" to be.
Not only was I suffering from depression, I was suffering from anxiety. I didn't know what I wanted out of life, and I had no dreams. I didn't like anyone, aside from my online friends, and to make things worse, I was afraid to be liked. A lot of people never would have guessed - they'd look at me, think "he's a good looking guy...smiles all the time...comes from a family with lots of material wealth...he's got everything..." - when people would say those things to me, or think them, it only caused me to withdraw farther.
There was a catch 22 involved with me getting back into school: my health insurance was bound to my student status. To see a doctor, I essentially needed to be in school. I was able to get 4 sessions with a psycho-therapist who understood my psychological build very well. He told me a few things about myself that I wasn't aware of, but I had to stop seeing him in March. We also decided that I should take medication temporarily to adjust my mood. I actually had a prescription that I refused to take because I didn't want to feel "different", or that I wasn't capable of solving my own problems. Of course, after getting kicked out of school, it was very clear to me that I wasn't capable of doing that. So, I gave in, after a year of resistance. It wasn't as bad as I thought.
Thinking back, I honestly cannot remember what I did through April, May, and June. If I remember correctly, I spent a lot of time playing that games I bought while I was playing WoW, doing whatever I could to distract myself until I could find a way to get the help I needed.
I tried to get private health insurance, but the deductibles were too high and the processing time too slow. I was also denied by two different firms. I was out of options, so I took a gamble. Even with all my problems unsolved, I told the academic adviser to give me another chance - put me in summer school, and if my grades were good enough, readmit me in the fall so I could get back to getting professional help.
She was concerned, but she told me to take things light, so I took two classes only. I couldn't afford my prescriptions without insurance, and after the first week of summer school, I realized only had four doses left. Since I couldn't afford my prescription, I instead bought a vacation, because it was cheaper. At the end of summer school, I was supposed to go to New York.
After the first half of summer, I finished my class with a B. The second, I finished with an A-. Then I went to New York. For a guy with an anxiety disorder, I must say that it was a huge accomplishment for me not only to organize the trip, but to go all by myself. I had more fun than I have in a long time. I took a risk and achieved a goal. I'm once again living a life that has dreams and now sees challenges as opportunities.
While I was in New York, I met a stranger who told me something that changed my life. He told me a personal quote of his: "My greatest fear was my weakness...until I realized that was my greatest weakness."
The root of my problems was fear, and the end result was not trying: giving up. You'll be happy to know that I am enrolled for Fall and will be graduating at the end of the year. I have health insurance again after so long, and while I don't think I need to be on medication anymore, I will continue to work with a therapist to focus my goals and to keep my reality grounded.
A little more good news, I'm in the best physical shape I've ever been in in my life. When I was pulled into the office before I got removed from school, I was 140 pounds. Now I'm a very healthy 165.
As far as me and this game go, I am considering playing the next expansion, but on a more casual level. My old computer is still not reliable, but it turns on.
At any rate, I just wanted to let you guys know that there was some light at the end of my tunnel, and even though the interface is virtual, the feelings are still real. I wish you all the best, and if you ever see me in the corner, using new overpowered hunter pets farming all the gold in the area, don't be afraid to say what's up!
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Administrators
Last Login: 11/12/2008 8:17:38 PM
Posts: 321,
Visits: 910
|
|
Damn Dar! Good to hear from you man. It seems you've been busy, in a constructive way. Gratz on your fear realization, and the foundation you're building for the rest of your life.
For those of you who don't know. Perfectdar was one of those guys (like alot of us) who had to, in his mind at least, be the best at what he did. He was in his time with War Storm a pretty damn good hunter. Why he left is pretty much outlined in this post.
Anyway, if you decide to come back and play, hit us up. While some of your old buds have left the guild/game, there are a few of us left, and leveling to max again should be fun.
And if you get too addicted, we'll run an intervention, lol.
Seriously, thanks for the holla, and for sharing an inspiring story. Keep it up man.
We are War Storm!
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Guru
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/14/2008 1:46:54 AM
Posts: 60,
Visits: 315
|
|
| Thanks Tender. If I can keep up the good work I've been doing so far, I'll have to race you in an extremely nice car lol. Thanks for reading, and I'm honestly not surprised that you of all people read and replied to my post =D
|
|
|
|
|
Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/18/2008 1:43:51 PM
Posts: 91,
Visits: 682
|
|
sup perf,
glad to hear youre doing good.
maybe you wont be the only one come back for wrath... =)
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Guru
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/14/2008 1:46:54 AM
Posts: 60,
Visits: 315
|
|
| Haha that'd be cool Satsu.
|
|
|
|